...Like it's going out of style.

I noticed the other day that there are a lot of things that either are, or should be going out of style. I would like to start with the fading trend of the rape van. The rape van was something popularized by the musical group Soul Asylum with their "hit" Runaway Train.

I used to watch this video when I was little and actually become scared. There was never any closure. They needed to update. Where are the missing children? Were they, in fact, raped? Or were they just lead to a van with candy and taken off to Disney world or the Nickelodeon studios? Perhaps they are alive today and write for Dora The Explorer. The world may never know... But there is something to be said about a rape van...

To the owners who have a rape van and do not intend on using it for rape, why do you still have this van? Were you a rapist in the past and realized the error of your ways? Do you hold on to the nostalgia of rapes past? This is not good. It will only lead you to an impending rapepath.

Other uses of rape vans are acceptable. Such as: Mexican transport, discount carpet warehouse (Samantha Ronson), methamphetamine laboratories, recession-proof homes, and when you visit home and there is no where to bang the girl down the street and for some reason you still have one parked in the driveway - leaking oil. Because when the rape van's a knockin' mom, mah dirty laundry is in the trunk of mah car. Mind the traveler of Smirnoff. That's for me.

This lead me on to think of other things that are going out of style. Like dial-up modems. Remember in 1995-1996 when you called your best friend down the street? The line was busy all fucking day. Why? His cunt of a mother left the fucking modem on and they did not have a separate line. What the fuck was she doing? Looking at 14k interweb porn? Updating her geocities account? I wanted to go play paintball with Jesse and I was to lazy at that time to walk down four houses. I'm still pissed!

But seriously, for those who still have Net Zero and Juno, kindly take a walk to your nearest rape van and go fuck yourself.