The other day a friend of mine got what I like to call: Batshit Blackout. This made me think about a few things. Given where I live - Charleston, SC - (the most beautiful place on earth) I began realizing what it means to get all swamp-donkey up in this bitch.
For the Southern Belle, all is forgiven after your walk of shame. For girls in Charleston, if you can manage to find your pearl earrings... you simply put them back on and you look like a classy gutter slut mess. It is so easy to give off the essence of dignity and sophistication long after you lost it in the Cooper River after a sex time session on the boat of some millionaire that it's captain took out for the night. It's something that may be tired and trite... But who can ever get tired of a boat that you don't own, maintain, and have to drive?
Other times I have found that this particular breed ends up in handicapped bathrooms with randoms for lengthy periods of time. This behavior leads to my cell phone blowing up around 10am with questions about who was blown. But it's OK. Why? Because in the South, we go to brunch the next morning. Get sauced on Mimosas, and do it all over again. That is why it is forgiven. Just because you did something questionable last night does not mean that anyone will remember it the next weekend. However, if you managed to hitchhike your way home from the strip club, perform fellatio on a sea turtle, sing anything in public from Lady Gaga, and sleep under a Ryder truck; this may not be overlooked.
For guys its all the same. Why? Because we are so technologically advanced. We know to delete text and call history after we manage to open one bloodshot eye. That means it never happened right? That means we wont even acknowledge the girl (or guy - not judging) the next night.
But here is what I am saying: Why not? Who gives a shit. We are all a bunch of borderline alcoholics that do insipid things under the influence of vodka and glue. So the next time you go out and have a several too many, just try not to drive. Everything else is usually fine. Except trannies. Try and avoid those.
