OK, OK... This is a Jersey Shore post. I know I have not posted in quite some time, but you see I have been busy working. These legal fees don't pay themselves folks.
Meanwhile, back to the Shore...
First of all, this is a show that is designed to entertain. Why is it entertaining? Because much of the world had no idea that behavior such as this went on in American society. But it does. Apparently...
A brief overview: MTV has actually been trying to make New Jersey look like the dingleberried taint on America for years. It all started with a show called - True Life: I Summer on the Jersey Shore. MTV hates New Jersey , they just have to. Either that or they secretly love that lifestyle. What's that? Could this be a conspiracy? Perhaps. The head of MTV is an Italian-American himself. Dun Dun Dunnnn. Or should I say, Tan Tan Tannnn?
Anywhoo, the seed was sewn and Ed Hardy stocks soared. Jersey Shore is about eight self-obsessed, morally bankrupt, overly tan, crazy people. So you can see how I quickly got on board with this concept. The cast members are employed by an aging Guido that basically owns an oversized trash can (leased from Oscar the Grouch) that features the sale of just that, garbage. Such items include: Insipid key chains and t-shirts that say 'I'd Blow Me', temporary tramp stamps, and probably bottled chlamydia - in bulk.
The cast goes out every night and drinks more alcohol than Lindsay Lohan does when she is in the pokey guzzling on turrlet wine. The cast always seems to get into some sort of altercation and the police are normally called. Sometimes a grenade is in tow as well. Now on to the cast!
Angelina: Boring.
JWoww: Claims to be a graphic designer. Which I think is Jersey Code for pubic hair shaper.
Sammi: Boring, cries too much.
Vinny: Probably the most normal, thus disposable.
DJ Pauly D: Has the hair of the Gods. His blowout should actually be kept behind bullet proof glass and transported through the city in a Popeish way. Actually, now that I think about it - he probably has enough hair product on it to survive 900 nuclear holocausts.
The Situation: Anyone who talks about themselves in the third person that I would be afraid to hit in the face is alright in my book. The dude LOVES himself. But you kind of get the sense he is hiding something. Like maybe a history with trannies or shameful IBS. *oh, and thanks for following me on Twitter*
Snooki: If ever there were a true diamond of a person, this is her. Snooki exudes more elegance and class than Queen Elizabeth dressed in ruby encrusted nipple tassels. Never before has a woman roamed this Earth with such beauty, sophistication, grace, and charm. To her thoughts on life, to getting hit in the mouth by a transient bar scrape; Snooki should be held with the utmost highest regard across every continent. Bitch should have diplomatic immunity in Seaside Heights for life.
In summary, it's a show for you to watch and feel entertained, but also to feel better about yourself. It's like watching a car crash on top of a volcano during a bio-chemical test site. It is television gold.
