God Save The... iPod?

I had thought about not commenting on this but I just cannot get it out of my head. Several days ago, Barack and Wifey went to jolly London Towne to go and see HMS QueenShit! A remarkable achievement! Oh, I mean that she is still alive and has the strength to hold up all those jewels. That shit takes strength. I had no problem with the visit from our current president until I found out what they brought with them. An iPod Touch. Really? REALLY? First I was thinking about ranting about why I found this unacceptable and then I just decided to go ahead and do it. When you are some of the most wealthiest land owners in the world, have royal blood (albeit inbred like a Cocker Spaniel from a puppy mill) and are treated with the utmost resect from foreign leaders, dignitaries, and your own countrymen... You then clearly deserve the illustrious present of an iPod Touch. But wouldn't it have kind of been funny if they gave her an iPod Shuffle. Sorry, I'm just getting a mental image.

Anyway, I know what she did with it. Because, we call one another when we take our baths and gab like old friends. Mainly we just talk about Britney Spears and her nipple tassels or the Oakland A's. This time it was different. Apparently what she did was hand it to one of her aides and he put it inside one of her priceless Faberge eggs and has since forgotten about it. But you know what she said to her baby daddy? "Philip what was that little rectangular shaped coaster that cute little colored boy gave us?" "Oh I don't know Bess. I think it was one of those marital devices we used to use in the bedroom back in the 60s."

But if you think about it... What if she actually uses it? Can't you almost see The Queen dancing around to Bad Girls by Donna Summer dressed in nothing but a mink cape, slippers, and waving a septor. That's what is really going down in the Tower of London. Then there's Prince Henry with the beer bong and a pound of weed. Oh the times they have been having lately. I bet she also had to get an iTrip so the damn thing could work in the Royal Bentley. That was her just now, driving by Harrods listening to the timeless classic, I Wanna Sex You Up - by Color Me Badd.