In the news there has been way to much shit on this Octomom whore. Her real name is Nadya Suleman, which is Arabic for Trick Ho. So, my first thought - as with the rest of the free world was, oh... interesting. It was only after gaining major media attention that the news began reporting that she already has nine hundred billion kids. OK so she's got all of those kids, apparently she has no money, and is losing her house. Blasted Vag actually has fourteen children. When I start doing the math - in my already sauced head - I got a great solution to her problem. It's simple math, nine hundred billion kids + money problems + impending homelessness = SWEATSHOP. Cheap shit doesn't make itself people. I looked it up. Also, with this in mind - we can potentially tickle the taint of our own economy. Buy cheap shit from the USA, well - that busted ass looking house down the street that has more shit flying from the windows than an entire cattle barn being fed nothing Metamucil and Chalupas. There is a lesson to be learned here. If God did not happen to bless your uterus with the capability of housing feti, then I bet it was not a good choice in letting a "doctor" fist you with more seamen than a fucking German submarine.
Meanwhile, I see a growing trend in this whole baby thing. We have celebrities that are going to Africa and throwing down $50,000 on a kid. On a child. Now just to put that into a perspective... Cab fare and a trip to Planned Parenthood will run you around $500. All to drop the kids off to play at stem-cell research. Something does not quite add up. I think it's a little strange to take the G5 over to Africa and throw money at a child's parents and say, PEACE! Because they don't want to be over there anyway. Hell, I like my running water too. Without it - I have no fucking clue what my bartender is going to put with my vodka.
Throwing money at babies and claiming them for the rest of their lives, yeah that's one thing. But if you want a white baby, I know a guy. Under the table, Romanian. Looks just like the real thing. He promises they are not addicted to glue upon arrival from FedEx Freight.
But seriously, if we as a nation decide to throw money at things and take them. Let me be the first to start... My neighbor has a pretty bad ass television. I think I'll go take it... I'll pay for it of course. Only problem, I don't know where he is going to swipe my Discover card. I'm just hoping its not in the crack of his ass.
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