Three and three quarter stars, motherfucker.

In light on Farrah Fawcett and MJ - we also need to pay respect to grandpa McMahon. A couple of things to highlight: Fighter pilot in WWII (eventually retiring with a rank of Colonel) His ancestors had a hand in the making of something called mayonnaise, was the sidekick on the Tonight Show, STAR SEARCH, Publishers Clearing House, and most recently... Ca$h For Gold.

During the last years of his life, he suffered a broken neck, mold poisoning, and some bone cancer. Really?! Like what in the fuck in his past life was he? Meanwhile, he seemed to accrue a lot of debt. I think it had to do with his wife and an up and down motion with a Platinum Amex. But we may never know.

Well then his home was going to go into foreclosure and then out of the combovers, emerged Donald Trump. Better known by his Christian Science name, Quackers McGoesbankrupteverytwoyears. He offered to buy the home and lease it to McMahon. Yeah, thanks asshole - Why not just buy it. You clearly have the money (today). Well, that deal fell through and shortly after, gramps went into the hospital for a while.

Ultimately, Ed parted ways with us earlier this week. It was said to be predominately due to bone cancer. But pappy is in Heaven now, giving big checks to all sorts of motherfuckers. He came to St. Peter's golden gate with giant check and pen in hand. I mean, the check bounced - but God paid the overdraft fee. Mr. McMahon, you will be missed sir. FOUR STARS!

M J and a LNDP!

So everyone is talking about it. I have even been listening to terrestrial radio - and it's all about Michael Jackson. At night, on my way to the bar - I scope out radio stations playing his music, like most others.

When news broke, I called my mother. Why? Because it was as if a family member died. The kind of family member that you probably did not want to be alone with for any lengthy period - but nonetheless...

What is undeniable is that the motherfucker had a great talent. The only thing that I can say about his death is that in some small way, it comes as a relief. Dude has been battling his demons for years. It's doubtful that he would have ever made any more music that would have made a mark on the global scale that he did in the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

But that is what is to be remembered. His iconic style of music. There has been no one before or ever will be after. That is why when you are on your 7th vodka, you turn to your bartender and say... "Sir, would you kindly put on some old school MJ so that I can rock my nuts out."

So, on a more serious post... MJ is gone. No doubt to his hyperbolic chamber in the sky. Too bad Bubbles is still alive. That little chimp bitch. So, everyone this week, have a Late Night Dance Party and a shot of Jesus Juice for the late, great, Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

Currently jamming out to this CLASSIC... Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy.

I'm letting the news sink in while watching BET (because it doesn't matter if you're black or white)

More batshit to follow. Stay Tuned.

YouTube of the day: AIDS (SFW)

This is something I found whilst using stumbleupon.

It's an advert screened in some land called "Australia" circa 1987. I do not think the original intent was supposed to be funny. But the baby at the end is my favorite part.

Video here.

Forgot to mention...

Because I am fighting a hangover and a sudden urge to drink - I forgot to say...

The site can now be accessed at www.batshittery.com

So there. Expect T-Shirts not to follow.

Downtime, meaning I'm terrible at technology...

Alright, I finally bit the bullet - I now am the owner of the 'batshittery' domain.

It was terribly expensive - and by that I mean it was around $10. Who knew no one wanted that name? I mean, google refused to host it. That is terrible.

Meanwhile, I will now be posting more frequently. So, be prepared to get your daily fix of my batshit nutsness.

In the meantime, visit this site, its a friend of mine - and a fellow crazy person.

Happy Tuesday motherfuckers.

"Did you see 24 last night?"

In the words of Americas hero, Whitney Houston, HELL TO THA NO!

Today I would like to focus my attention on shows that apparently everyone watches that I do not. I would like to offer my expert opinion a few shows that I have never seen. So if by some chance you are sitting around one day and decide to shove a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's (that whore) pancake sauce in your blowhole and flip on the TV to see what these shows are about, then read on...

24.
From what I can surmise based solely on commercials and a glazed over wiki sesh, this program seems to be the most, absolute, waste of airtime imaginable. However, I kind of understand why Americans and illegal Mexican immigrants like it. It is for the folks with ADD. From what I can gather, it looks as if the episode is supposed to capture all of the events that happen in a 24 hour period. So, in watching 15 minutes of it with a good buddy of mine the other day, I found out the dynamics of the show. Once, every week, for only a day - the world burns down as the result of a force from God. Yes, you see God is testing Keifer Sutherland. He is his bitch. God makes something go terribly wrong for a day and it is up to Queef to save the day. I noticed something else too. You know how he whispers in a loud tone for "dramatic effect?" That is because God has him on one of those child leashes. It's choking the dog shit out of him. But you know he loves it.

Lost.
It's where you would be if you just started watching. So I think it is something like Gilligan's Island without that demonic radio. And while we are at it, in all that time, why did they not figure out how to build canoes? Don't the pigmy people still use those or something? Meanwhile, I do not understand Lost. So maybe there was a plane crash or something? Um, let me think... There is something called a flight plan. There is the FAA. And I think by now, as a largely civilized world, our cartographic efforts would have left no stone unturned. So where is this Island? I think it's in the middle of a gigantic volcano located directly in L. Ron Hubbard's asshole. You see that kids? Lost is just Scientology. You are one step away from jumping on a sofa and making the rest of the world hate you.

Grey's Anatomy.
Look at the title. How does that even sound like something you want to watch? Unfortunately, this is a show that I actually have seen a couple of episodes a few years ago. I am friends with these girls that, before the bar, had to watch that fucking - wannakillyourselfwithamercuryfilledsalmon - fuckery. American people have a false sense of reality when it comes to programs like this. If you think about it... American people must all be either Doctors, Nurses, Murses, Janitors, Patients, or Dead People. There are so many hospital related shows on television, it leaves little room for other types of jobs. Like say, Amish Methmaker, Geriatric Bodystocking Model, Cameltoe Operator, and Professional Nail Polish Taster. This show, based around one person, is why it is failing at the moment. Centered around that one bitch with the spooky eyes, that gets no headlines. She is as boring as her weave. Media keeps reporting on Katherine Heigl and T.R. FingerblastmeatKnight. Will they leave the show? Who knows? Lets NOT watch.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 Minus 1 or 2 Plus a Stem-cell.
This is another show that is buzzing after a huge ratings surge. The media cannot seem to shut the fuck up over this massive family. First OctoVagina, now this shit. What is the obsession with over spermination these days? Bitch used fertility treatment to get herself all big as shit. Now, when people had that many kids when I was younger - they were called Catholic. Now they are called Angelina Jolie. Meanwhile, I get why their marriage is on the outs these days. THEY HAVE EIGHT FUCKING KIDS. I mean, would you not put a gun in your mouth when they all got Chicken Pox? Think about taking them to the grocery store... Or even worse, Neverland. Also, what is the hedgehog that is growing out of the back of her skull? If I were Jon, I would have quit that bitch from her first walk-in appointment at Great Clips.

Update: Apparently 24 is coming out with a movie. Are they going to call it 48?

...Like it's going out of style.

I noticed the other day that there are a lot of things that either are, or should be going out of style. I would like to start with the fading trend of the rape van. The rape van was something popularized by the musical group Soul Asylum with their "hit" Runaway Train.

I used to watch this video when I was little and actually become scared. There was never any closure. They needed to update. Where are the missing children? Were they, in fact, raped? Or were they just lead to a van with candy and taken off to Disney world or the Nickelodeon studios? Perhaps they are alive today and write for Dora The Explorer. The world may never know... But there is something to be said about a rape van...

To the owners who have a rape van and do not intend on using it for rape, why do you still have this van? Were you a rapist in the past and realized the error of your ways? Do you hold on to the nostalgia of rapes past? This is not good. It will only lead you to an impending rapepath.

Other uses of rape vans are acceptable. Such as: Mexican transport, discount carpet warehouse (Samantha Ronson), methamphetamine laboratories, recession-proof homes, and when you visit home and there is no where to bang the girl down the street and for some reason you still have one parked in the driveway - leaking oil. Because when the rape van's a knockin' mom, mah dirty laundry is in the trunk of mah car. Mind the traveler of Smirnoff. That's for me.

This lead me on to think of other things that are going out of style. Like dial-up modems. Remember in 1995-1996 when you called your best friend down the street? The line was busy all fucking day. Why? His cunt of a mother left the fucking modem on and they did not have a separate line. What the fuck was she doing? Looking at 14k interweb porn? Updating her geocities account? I wanted to go play paintball with Jesse and I was to lazy at that time to walk down four houses. I'm still pissed!

But seriously, for those who still have Net Zero and Juno, kindly take a walk to your nearest rape van and go fuck yourself.